Tennessean: How Tennessee is working to become more adoption friendly | Opinion
On our very first date, I told my wife, Michelle, I wanted to adopt one day. We didn’t know much about the process, but we knew we wanted to be a family for a child who needed one.
About a year after we were married, we found out we were expecting our son and paused that conversation. But the call to adopt never faded.
Over the years, we looked into the options, including adoption from foster care, private domestic adoption, and international adoption. When the time was right for us to adopt, we chose to work with a private agency.
Three years after making that decision, during the height of the pandemic, we were matched with a mom making the difficult decision to voluntarily place her child for adoption. Our only meeting was virtual until the day she placed a three-week-old baby into Michelle’s arms.
I clearly remember two things from that moment: the overwhelming joy we experienced and realizing the tremendous grief she must be feeling. Our view of adoption began to expand.
Why we decided to start The Adoption Project
The adoption would not be finalized for six months. We are fortunate to have an open adoption and relationship with the birth mother who is also the biological mother of our second daughter.
There was so much we did not know when we started the process. It is complicated. We faced challenges and asked lots of questions. Why does the process work this way? Why does it take so long and cost so much? What services are available? What protections exist? What are the best interests of the child and how can we minimize trauma?
One day when grumbling to a friend I heard a clear response, “If you think the system is broken, fix it.” I could complain, or I could try to change it for other kids, parents, and families. Months of prayer, conversations, and handwringing followed. Our family was comfortable. Quitting my job to focus full time on this work would be risky.
Ultimately, we launched The Adoption Project, a non-profit focused on public policy to make Tennessee the most adoption-friendly state in the country. Agencies and organizations are doing great work providing services to children and families, but no organization was focused solely on changing the system.
Over the last year, The Adoption Project has researched laws and best practices while meeting with foster and adoptive families, adoptees, placing parents, non-profit leaders, and other stakeholders here and across the country to identify specific challenges and ideas to overcome them.
First adoption and foster care policy summit held recently
And Michelle and I continued to think about the parents making difficult decisions to place children for adoption. Often these parents are facing several crises. While we address the immediate challenge of a child in need of care, we often inadequately address the other underlying issues and now have layered on the grief of child loss.
Adoption is messy and beautiful, traumatic and healing, heartbreaking and redeeming. It involves a constellation of family, friends, and community, and requires a tremendous amount of grace.
We recently held our first Adoption and Foster Care Policy Summit in Nashville. With policymakers and stakeholders, we discussed key issues and potential changes to improve the adoption and foster care systems.
Our goals focus on stability, permanency, and support by addressing timing, efficiency, cost, court delays, advances in technology, and giving foster parents a greater voice.
Every child deserves a safe, loving, and permanent family. We are grateful Governor Lee, Commissioner Quin, and the General Assembly share this vision.
We are honored to partner with them and other stakeholders to help achieve these goals in the upcoming legislative session and beyond.
Read more from The Tennessean >>
Jeremy Harrell is founder, president and CEO of The Adoption Project
